...she'd be yer Uncle!" So the saying goes.
Football fans love to speculate on alternative outcomes. How many times have we all said:
"If we win the next 'x' number of games and our rival drop points here and there, we'll be only 'y' points behind with a game in hand."
"If player 'a' hadn't got sent off, we wouldn't have lost that game and we would be just 'b' points further ahead so only need to win 'c' more games to win the title."
It's a little bit of fun and it plays on the emotional heart strings as fans, but often it just sets ourselves up for a fall based on unrealistic expectations. More often than not, the results you get are a product of the quality and consistency of your team.
Take our current situation. Had our home form in particular been better this season and if we hadn't lost to the likes of Hibs, Hamilton and Dundee, we could have been, say, five or six points better off and within touching distance of Celtic who are trying to balance their European and domestic commitments whilst managing a squad depleted with various injuries. It would be game on as we move into the final third of the season.
But we are where we are. Improving on our league position relative to last year is still the main aim, along with a real tilt at the Scottish Cup. Any talk of challenging Celtic this season seems fanciful, but the psychology of the chase can play a part in changing that. Yes we are behind Aberdeen and Celtic right now, but there is growing sense of confidence in the squad, the management structure and the promise of further financial strengthening off the pitch.
The next three games you would imagine are therefore critical. Hamilton away, Hearts at home and then St Johnstone away all before the end of the month and ahead of the next Old Firm game. Nine points are therefore vital in order to put some pressure on our nearest rivals. We also need to see those same rivals dropping some points.
Aberdeen particularly have three tricky ties coming up. Hibs away at the weekend, followed by Celtic at home and then Motherwell away.
Celtic have St Johnstone on Sunday, Aberdeen away following their trip to Russia to complete the return leg against Zenit, and then Dundee at home. Crucially though, that will be a run of four games in eleven days for the injury hit Celtic.
So, in true speculative style, I'm predicting that my Aunty may well get the sex change she's been promised. The next two weeks promise to be make or break for our season. If we are to stand any chance of putting in a league title challenge it really is now or never. If we can rattle in a big win at the weekend, I'll happily get the bandwagon started.
Possible team (4-2-3-1):
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